Saying sorry….

Why do people have such a hard time biting the bullet and saying they’re sorry? 

I always apologize for my actions, even when there’s nothing to apologize for. I apologize for other’s actions. 

So, when you don’t talk to me for months, and suddenly decide we are friends again please forgive me if I’m not on the same page. 

When someone exits my life I guarantee you I lost sleep over it. I’ve regressed to some of me hermit like tendencies. I’ve told a handful of people that I trust to make sure I don’t become a social recluse, but I avoid people. I some people are only temporary in my life; I’m ok with it, I’ve come to terms with it, and, in some cases, I look forward to it. 

Some people are in my life, and our lives grow apart, that’s ok. BUT in those instances, there are no “arguments” there are no accusations, it just happens. Gradually a space grows, but there are bridges. We still chat from time to time, we still care about each other, we still make an effort. It’s not a we talk every day and suddenly one of us stops responding, life gets busy, and despite our efforts to keep the conversations going it fizzles out. Life gets crazy. Someone moves. Someone has a baby. Someone gets married. 

Funny thing about life, it goes on no matter what you do. It sucks, there have been times my world has been turned upside down by events in my life, but life continued on. when I was a hermit after my mom passed on, life kept going. When a friend took advantage of my kindness and got mad at me when I stopped being a doormat, I became a hermit, life went on- I had to catch up. 

When I screw up, I apologize. Plain and simple. 

So, if you hurt me and expect me to be there just because you decide you want me there, don’t be surprised by my absence. 

If I want you in my life, you’re there. If you want to be there, you’re there. Even if it’s been a few months since we’ve seen each other or spoken I consider you there. You’re stuck with me as your friend. And just in case I need to say it, I’m sorry if I ever hurt you. I don’t like to hurt my friends, and I would never maliciously try to hurt any of you. 

XOXO

Me

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