My family and I have transplanted 550 miles away from what we called home. We left behind family, friends, and friends that might as well be family. I miss them all dearly. My daughter misses her friends too.
So I will get to the point of my writing this… Making friends is hard, at any age. Caitlynn is almost 5 and has excelled at making friends in the past, she was even one of the “popular kids” in preschool. She was liked, and she liked everyone. Now we are here, and while we have played with some of the neighborhood kids, she wants them to come over every day to play. I like all of these kids, so that’s a good thing I think. I like their parents too. What Caitlynn struggles with is seeing them play, but not with her. Like the neighbor kids will be playing in their backyard and she’ll want to play with them, whether it’s here at our house, or at theirs. The thing is, if the mom doesn’t answer the door, a play date isn’t happening. The kids across the way come out and play with her often, and I have that mom’s number, but I don’t want to bombard her with play requests from Caitlynn.
So now, I’m here with a very pent up energetic 5 year old, a 1 1/2 year old that idolizes his sister, but can’t play on the level she desires. I’m trying to make friends for my kiddos and myself. It’s not easy, but I’m trying (hopefully not too hard) and that’s what counts.
When school starts I hope I’m able to build up her list of friends to play with, and she’ll get to play with her friends at school. So I won’t be dreading the afternoons of whining about playing with someone.
I miss the ease of well built friendships, where you know the kind of friends they are. Friendship with history. Friends that are there no matter what. Friends that know when something is wrong by the way a message is worded. Friends that you don’t have to worry about “trying too hard.” Friends that will yell at your kid, and you theirs. Friends that give and take.
We (as a family) will get there, one step at a time. We have only been here officially a month. I do have a certain boldness that it takes, but I stress about that for a while before I actually make that step, but it a 50/50 chance, they’ll say cool lets hang out, or blow me off and I’m no worse off than I was before I tried, but at least I tried.