Dear Son,

My sweet little man,

Do you know how much I love you? I’m laying here cuddling with you, kissing your forehead every so often. All because I love you. You won’t let me put you back in your bed, so I’ll take the cuddles while I can and kiss you softly. 

Sometimes you’re full of energy, piss, and vinegar…. Other times you’re sweet and gently. You are so compassionate, you don’t like it when your sister cries, or when mommy cries. You are our homes little peace keeper. When someone is upset you go to them, and bring them something (always with a smile). You shout when we don’t listen, then giggle and smile. 

I love watching you sleep, I love watching your sister sleep too. When you’re older you will think that’s creepy. For now, I’ll cuddle you, kiss you, and love you with every inch of my soul.  

My life has less sleep in it now, but if I didn’t have you it wouldn’t be the same. 

I love it when you get excited about something and do your happy dance, always accompanied by a happy giggle. It could be for a cup of milk, a snack, any meal, to go outside, take a bath…. You (and your sister) show me the joy that can be found in life. 

When you’re sad it makes my heart hurt for you. If I could, I would do anything in my power to make sure you aren’t sad. That’s not possible, but I will try, and try, and never give up. 

I love that you want to be near me, I want to be near you too. Even when I escape, and go somewhere alone, I miss you and your sister. The bond the 2 of you have is amazing, she might think you’re annoying, and complain about you, but she loves you and cares about you. If she didn’t care she wouldn’t complain. 

I love the fact that I’ve gotten pretty darn good at checking your eyes after (many, many, many) head injuries (and more to come). It makes me crazy, but it’s who you are. You climb, you run, you play, you’re 1. You’re my gentle clutz, and I apologize for that, I was never that grateful either- I did swim, not ballet; they didn’t call me Spazz for nothing. 

I love you. I love you. I love telling you I love you (so much even, I wrote this while you were sleeping in my arms). You use this jargon, and I swear you tell me that you love me. 

Love isn’t something that you teach, it’s something that you show. I hope you know how much I love you. 

Love always,

Mama 

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