Once upon a time I cared too much. Hell, let’s face it, I still do. I don’t confront for fear of upsetting the other person, until I’m pushed too far. If I stand up to you, you’ve pushed me beyond my limits.
Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, because underneath it all, I am a strong passionate person. Who will stand up for herself when I’ve been used for too long.
That being said, when I do stand up to you, take into consideration a few things: (1) if I’m standing up to you I trust you to acknowledge my feelings. (2) my feelings have been hurt for some time, which is why I’m now standing up to you. (3) just because you don’t think I should feel that way doesn’t change the way I feel. I am not a bad person for having feelings, as much as my feelings may upset someone else. Imagine how I must feel if I’m actually saying something.
Thank you to an old friend (age of the friendship not age of the person- we’ll never be ‘old’) who had lunch with me yesterday to help me realize I am NOT a horrible person. I was worried that by hurting someone’s feelings I would be considered a horrible person. She made me realize that it’s not me who is the horrible person, it’s the person who pushed me so far. This person who has hurt me before and I let her back in and I let her close, that’s one of the few things in life I actually regret. My heart will be better guarded in the future, especially from people who have hurt me like that.